Exclusive Preview - Continued

For a revision on habits 1-3 visit http://rummagingcontemplations.blogspot.com/2008/03/exclusive-preview-of-my-new-book.html

Ok, I've watched so much TV that my eyes have begun to swell, I have slept so much that my eyes have begun to swell and I have thrown so many rocks at passers by that my eyes have begun to swell (Damn, I did not know that they had a good aim too). Now I see my personal mission of "lethargium infinitum" my more cleary. Thats the key then - swollen eyes. You can call me the enlightened one.

So, I thought I can continue to share my personal experiences with you so that you can atleast start on them.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win
What we live for is to make life more difficult for others - so that ours seems easier - George Idiot

This is called as the habit of mutual benefit - more correctly put - it is the habit of making others feel that it is benefitial for them. So when want to say "I choose to laze", you should also add to that "So that you can have some peace" or "So that you wont get disturbed" or "So that you can continue doing whatever you were doing without me being there to spoil your experience".

A win-win person would say "Lets find a solution that works for both of us in such a manner that I can laze and you feel happy that you have given me that time to laze". As against a win-lose person who would say "I will laze and if you disturb me I will beat your head into a pulp"

There are other kinds of people too such as :
1. Lose-win: I never get to laze because you always smash my head into a pulp
2. Lose-Lose: If you beat my head into a pulp, Ill beat yours too - and no one gets to laze
3. Win: I will beat every single person on this planets head to a pulp and then laze
4. Win-win or No deal: Lets both laze after smashing each others head into a pulp.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand and then be understood
Theres a native american proverb that said "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf". This was how probably how the native americans lived until the English arrived on their shores and said "From now on, you will listen with your ears".

This habit is called as the habit of mutual understanding. Listen with an intent to understand. In other words "Close your eyes, as if it seems to others that you are listening and then doze off". After some time get up, if the person is still in front of you just say to him/her "I think I have almost understood, let me finish it off" and doze off again. If the person is still there the next time you wake up, visit your psychiatrist - you are seeing things that you are'nt supposed to see.
So I hope you have understood what I have said. If not, you need to listen empathically. Ampitheatre?...No..."Empathic". Now what would that be? Perhaps I need to go seek to understand it all over again. The key takeaway here is that you need to replace "you" and "we" instead of "I". Thus, instead of saying "I choose to watch some television", you can say - "'You' can reduce your blabbering a bit so that 'we' can see some television."

Habit 7: Synergise
Which means that "Together we can create a better way, a higher way". Which is a slogan made just for the Bangalore Road development authorities. So you dont have to worry about this habit unless you are anyway associated with the bangalore road construction work. And if you are,.... "Damn you #&$%^#!!!"

This is also called as the habit of creative co-operation, which means that you will have to get admitted to the hospital and famous artists will operate on you. And as you are being operated upon, you can see in your dreams the countless underpasses you have littered in Bangalore. What is also important here is that you need to create new ideas, a third alternative. And this probably the reason why I dont see any work happening on the Bangalore metro - everyones happy building underpasses (which is by the way, the last alternative).

After you are well versed with these three habits, you achieve what you call as a "Public Victory". Aliens lost this time.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Using the "third alternative" principle you can skew this habit to say "Sharpen your knife, sickle, dagger or sword" and if you cant find anything else, you can sharpen your pencil. Why? so that you can keep it under your pillow and if someone comes near you to disturb your dreams, you can just say to them "I have a knife/ sickle/ Dagger under my pillow" and just for the effect say "I just sharpened it". If need be, show it to them. And watch their faces turn pale.

You will have to be more careful if you are using a pencil. Coz, when you are going to show them the pencil, they are bound to start laughing. And just when you see that coming, in one swift motion swing the pencil and poke them with it. - The effect will be good if you have a sufficiently sharpened pencil.

Well! that then is the gist of what my book's all about. It will be a 1000 page book with key points explained with the help of visual displays. About 990 pages of them will consist of such visual stuff - circles, more circles, circles inside circles, big rocks, native americans throwing those big rocks, dug up bangalore roads, underpasses, my sharpened pencils etc. I'm thinking of putting all these up on a LCD screen inside the book - It will look cool. I'll see you then at next years booker prize awards ceremony. So long!

Disclaimer: Every person depicted in the above post, living or dead, is purely fictional (except few). Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental (specially the dead ones).