For a revision on habits 1-3 visit http://rummagingcontemplations.blogspot.com/2008/03/exclusive-preview-of-my-new-book.html
Ok, I've watched so much TV that my eyes have begun to swell, I have slept so much that my eyes have begun to swell and I have thrown so many rocks at passers by that my eyes have begun to swell (Damn, I did not know that they had a good aim too). Now I see my personal mission of "lethargium infinitum" my more cleary. Thats the key then - swollen eyes. You can call me the enlightened one.
So, I thought I can continue to share my personal experiences with you so that you can atleast start on them.
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
What we live for is to make life more difficult for others - so that ours seems easier - George Idiot
This is called as the habit of mutual benefit - more correctly put - it is the habit of making others feel that it is benefitial for them. So when want to say "I choose to laze", you should also add to that "So that you can have some peace" or "So that you wont get disturbed" or "So that you can continue doing whatever you were doing without me being there to spoil your experience".
A win-win person would say "Lets find a solution that works for both of us in such a manner that I can laze and you feel happy that you have given me that time to laze". As against a win-lose person who would say "I will laze and if you disturb me I will beat your head into a pulp"
There are other kinds of people too such as :
1. Lose-win: I never get to laze because you always smash my head into a pulp
2. Lose-Lose: If you beat my head into a pulp, Ill beat yours too - and no one gets to laze
3. Win: I will beat every single person on this planets head to a pulp and then laze
4. Win-win or No deal: Lets both laze after smashing each others head into a pulp.
Habit 5: Seek first to understand and then be understood
Theres a native american proverb that said "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf". This was how probably how the native americans lived until the English arrived on their shores and said "From now on, you will listen with your ears".
This habit is called as the habit of mutual understanding. Listen with an intent to understand. In other words "Close your eyes, as if it seems to others that you are listening and then doze off". After some time get up, if the person is still in front of you just say to him/her "I think I have almost understood, let me finish it off" and doze off again. If the person is still there the next time you wake up, visit your psychiatrist - you are seeing things that you are'nt supposed to see.
So I hope you have understood what I have said. If not, you need to listen empathically. Ampitheatre?...No..."Empathic". Now what would that be? Perhaps I need to go seek to understand it all over again. The key takeaway here is that you need to replace "you" and "we" instead of "I". Thus, instead of saying "I choose to watch some television", you can say - "'You' can reduce your blabbering a bit so that 'we' can see some television."
Habit 7: Synergise
Which means that "Together we can create a better way, a higher way". Which is a slogan made just for the Bangalore Road development authorities. So you dont have to worry about this habit unless you are anyway associated with the bangalore road construction work. And if you are,.... "Damn you #&$%^#!!!"
This is also called as the habit of creative co-operation, which means that you will have to get admitted to the hospital and famous artists will operate on you. And as you are being operated upon, you can see in your dreams the countless underpasses you have littered in Bangalore. What is also important here is that you need to create new ideas, a third alternative. And this probably the reason why I dont see any work happening on the Bangalore metro - everyones happy building underpasses (which is by the way, the last alternative).
After you are well versed with these three habits, you achieve what you call as a "Public Victory". Aliens lost this time.
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Using the "third alternative" principle you can skew this habit to say "Sharpen your knife, sickle, dagger or sword" and if you cant find anything else, you can sharpen your pencil. Why? so that you can keep it under your pillow and if someone comes near you to disturb your dreams, you can just say to them "I have a knife/ sickle/ Dagger under my pillow" and just for the effect say "I just sharpened it". If need be, show it to them. And watch their faces turn pale.
You will have to be more careful if you are using a pencil. Coz, when you are going to show them the pencil, they are bound to start laughing. And just when you see that coming, in one swift motion swing the pencil and poke them with it. - The effect will be good if you have a sufficiently sharpened pencil.
Well! that then is the gist of what my book's all about. It will be a 1000 page book with key points explained with the help of visual displays. About 990 pages of them will consist of such visual stuff - circles, more circles, circles inside circles, big rocks, native americans throwing those big rocks, dug up bangalore roads, underpasses, my sharpened pencils etc. I'm thinking of putting all these up on a LCD screen inside the book - It will look cool. I'll see you then at next years booker prize awards ceremony. So long!
Disclaimer: Every person depicted in the above post, living or dead, is purely fictional (except few). Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental (specially the dead ones).
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Exclusive preview of my new book
Last week I had an opportunity to attend the highly publicised training on Seven habits of highly effective people. I could have settled for a training on "Habits of highly successful people" or "How to become a millionaire in 10 seconds" or "How to screw your blog-reading friends and make some money at the same time" - but then I stopped attending fantasy trainings ever since I found out that the trainers were imported from the American-Society of -Psychics. (ASS in short and remember P is silent) I am a pucca swadeshi.
And at the end of this training I find that I am a changed man - it completely changed my perception of how authors can make zillions by writing one good book. Which is why I have decided I would be starting my own book - "The seven habits of highly lethargic people." by Sathvik Nishanth (GGSS, GLYSM , DAMWTSF , EAOD(hons)) - you will not get a more qualified person to write on this subject.
You can consider yourself lucky to have an exclusive preview of what my book will be about. But thats about all you will get - because when I start earning millions and millions from the sales of my book - dont expect even a penny from it. Well, if not millions, i can settle for atleast thousands - provided they are in US dollars.
Here's the gist of what my book will be about, which can, suprisingly be summarised in Seven paragraphs - talk about Seven being the perfect number (which is why I think it was built into my first name).
Habit 1: Be proactive
If you are among the ones who thought that this had something to do with some high-end nuclear technology, join the club. Lethargy cannot be acheived without being proactive . The first step for this is to use proactive language such as "I choose to sleep", " I control my own fantasies", "I can prefer to be active, happy and helpful but i choose not to". There are two important circles here which you will have to draw on a peice of paper and be happy about - One is the circle of affluence (dreaming about being wealthy) and the other is the circle of you-can-name-it-what-you-want (dreaming about whatever you want). And what to do with these circles? Well you can either "choose" to crumple the paper and practice your aim of throwing it at people or you can "choose" to throw the pen. Either way its your choice and dont name me if someone sues you.
This habit can be summarised as follows: "Between the stimulus and the response, there is a Gap, and in that Gap lies the power to choose - whether you want to buy it or not" - GAP is very expensive. Let me know if theres a sale somewhere.
Habit 2 - Begin with an end in mind.
Well this is difficult if there are voices in your head telling you stuff you dont want to hear about. But if you concenterate a little less harder, it should be an easy task. This is called the habit of revision. Essentially what this habit says is that you have to imagine stuff in your head and then you can act on it. But remember "you can always choose not to" which is the primary aim of my book by the way. You should remember to have a personal mission statement. For creating one - you need to go to a secluded place and doze off for a while. When you do this about twenty times, you will realise that your personal mission statement can be something like "Go to a secluded place and doze off". Also here you need to have a few roles decided. I dont know what roles mean because, I guess I dozed off that time. I think its some thing where you put some mutton masala in a long bread, but I'm not so sure.
Habit 3; Put First things first
Things which matter most can effectively be done by other people while you can concenterate on something called Quadrant 4. It is some kind of shiny jewel I believe, or .... was that quartz? Anyway, the most important thing in here is that you need to plan weekly. (remember, you can always choose "not to") Keep the saturday and sunday off that list! - you cannot plan lethargy on inherently lethargic days. You can start off by throwing off some of the Big rocks (the really important stuff - Duh! ) from your couch first and then sitting on it and watching some TV. If its still uncomfortable, remove the smaller ones. Watch some more TV. Then you can practice throwing the big rocks on the passers-by below your building. I will also bet you that you cannot break that car's window by a mere rock. I don't know you in case you manage to do that. Remember that you have to link your weekly plans to your mission statement and roles. So you can just doze of while you are doing the planning.
-------INTERVAL--------
After you practice the first three habits, you achieve what is known as private victory. Who lost? - Hell, they did not tell us that!!
There are four more habits remaining. But I think I will get some big rocks of my couch first and watch some TV and then get closer to my personal mission. Hey! dont blame me - If I dont do that you will all shout "He does'nt practice what he preaches"
My next post will update you on the balance 4 habits - but its not on my this weeks plan or the next weeks.
And at the end of this training I find that I am a changed man - it completely changed my perception of how authors can make zillions by writing one good book. Which is why I have decided I would be starting my own book - "The seven habits of highly lethargic people." by Sathvik Nishanth (GGSS, GLYSM , DAMWTSF , EAOD(hons)) - you will not get a more qualified person to write on this subject.
You can consider yourself lucky to have an exclusive preview of what my book will be about. But thats about all you will get - because when I start earning millions and millions from the sales of my book - dont expect even a penny from it. Well, if not millions, i can settle for atleast thousands - provided they are in US dollars.
Here's the gist of what my book will be about, which can, suprisingly be summarised in Seven paragraphs - talk about Seven being the perfect number (which is why I think it was built into my first name).
Habit 1: Be proactive
If you are among the ones who thought that this had something to do with some high-end nuclear technology, join the club. Lethargy cannot be acheived without being proactive . The first step for this is to use proactive language such as "I choose to sleep", " I control my own fantasies", "I can prefer to be active, happy and helpful but i choose not to". There are two important circles here which you will have to draw on a peice of paper and be happy about - One is the circle of affluence (dreaming about being wealthy) and the other is the circle of you-can-name-it-what-you-want (dreaming about whatever you want). And what to do with these circles? Well you can either "choose" to crumple the paper and practice your aim of throwing it at people or you can "choose" to throw the pen. Either way its your choice and dont name me if someone sues you.
This habit can be summarised as follows: "Between the stimulus and the response, there is a Gap, and in that Gap lies the power to choose - whether you want to buy it or not" - GAP is very expensive. Let me know if theres a sale somewhere.
Habit 2 - Begin with an end in mind.
Well this is difficult if there are voices in your head telling you stuff you dont want to hear about. But if you concenterate a little less harder, it should be an easy task. This is called the habit of revision. Essentially what this habit says is that you have to imagine stuff in your head and then you can act on it. But remember "you can always choose not to" which is the primary aim of my book by the way. You should remember to have a personal mission statement. For creating one - you need to go to a secluded place and doze off for a while. When you do this about twenty times, you will realise that your personal mission statement can be something like "Go to a secluded place and doze off". Also here you need to have a few roles decided. I dont know what roles mean because, I guess I dozed off that time. I think its some thing where you put some mutton masala in a long bread, but I'm not so sure.
Habit 3; Put First things first
Things which matter most can effectively be done by other people while you can concenterate on something called Quadrant 4. It is some kind of shiny jewel I believe, or .... was that quartz? Anyway, the most important thing in here is that you need to plan weekly. (remember, you can always choose "not to") Keep the saturday and sunday off that list! - you cannot plan lethargy on inherently lethargic days. You can start off by throwing off some of the Big rocks (the really important stuff - Duh! ) from your couch first and then sitting on it and watching some TV. If its still uncomfortable, remove the smaller ones. Watch some more TV. Then you can practice throwing the big rocks on the passers-by below your building. I will also bet you that you cannot break that car's window by a mere rock. I don't know you in case you manage to do that. Remember that you have to link your weekly plans to your mission statement and roles. So you can just doze of while you are doing the planning.
-------INTERVAL--------
After you practice the first three habits, you achieve what is known as private victory. Who lost? - Hell, they did not tell us that!!
There are four more habits remaining. But I think I will get some big rocks of my couch first and watch some TV and then get closer to my personal mission. Hey! dont blame me - If I dont do that you will all shout "He does'nt practice what he preaches"
My next post will update you on the balance 4 habits - but its not on my this weeks plan or the next weeks.
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