Yerraguntla "Y"escapades

Approximately 3 months of my life have been spent in this small village sits in the centre of India's limestone belt and which supposedly spews the highest amount of South India's cement production. Why did I not hear of this before I joined my company, I think! And my mind replies "Coz, you fool ,you were busy dreaming about some plush jobs at Nariman Point rather than ticking vouchers at some godforsaken place, the name of which you need to read atleast twice before trying to pronounce it. And if you had probably stopped this day dreaming you would probably not have to try pronouncing this name in your life - EVER!!! "...OK I GET THE POINT!!!

Excitement in such places is hard to find, specially when all you can see around is stunted vegetation, cement trucks, mammoth drab structures (cement plants), Reddy's, Babu's, Suspended Particulated Matter (You can really see them...really!!!! - one of the most profound discoveries of my life!) .

Recounting the stay is nothing short of the feeling that one gets when one recounts the horrors of their life. But for the sake of your reading pleasures, I will nevertheless recount it. (I am selfless, aint I?). Even though the people there tried to make our stay feel as comfortable as possible, for lazy lumps like us who accustomed to the luxuries which we indulge in without battering an eyelid, we find these visits nothing less than an ordeal. Here are some of the memoirs of the visit:
Watching Television: Luxuries at Yerraguntla do not get better than this. 15 odd channels on television and majority of them in a language that seem nothing but a combination of a weird sounds by twitching the mouth and twisting the tongue. What we are left with is one sports channel,an english movie channel, one educational channel and the other... some "Saas-bahu" kind of channel. Luckily, this time there was the IPL to keep us hooked onto one of the channels, otherwise I could have brought you the family tree of one of the "parivaars"

Sunbathing: Ample of it here. Having to endure a 40 degree temperature, a AC that can crack up anytime (and that after we have relaxed in a constant 20degree Bangalore weather). Add to it the spicy food and there you go - the Devil himself can feel at home here. Five minutes of exposure to the blistering sun and you can get a perfectly tanned body. Any longer and one could mistake you for a lump of coal or for that matter, - a shadow. Which leads me think thats probably why I got muted responses from many of the process owners - They must have thought it was just my shadow that was lingering there.

Meeting Process Owners: I have never had to excercise my grey cells as much I have done here in trying to remember the process owners names. Its not big of task when you consider that most of their names can just be remembered as a Mr Reddy or a Mr Babu. Problem arises when you speak to two such Reddys together or you are talking about when one Reddy to another reddy. Statements like " we just met Mr Reddy and also met ..Mr. ...errrr....Reddy who suggested that we go meet you. They told us that Mr. Reddy & Mr err... Reddy who had earlier handled this have left and its now handled by you...Mr....errr.. Reddy." seem a tad confusing and an open invitation for a kick on my butt.

Wildlife: Every step taken at Yerraguntla (more precisely the township of the company I went to audit) will make up for one whole documentary for Discovery Channel. I'm quite sure I must have identified atleast 20 new species there (and thats excluding the Reddys and the Babus). The feeling that I get must be close to what Adam must have felt when he opened his eyes to the Garden of Eden. More like "Whoalla! so many things to name". Only thing different is that there are not a lot of "eve's" worth noting. But there are serpents. :) (perhaps searching for eve's just like us). They visited my team as well (as if our company's gonna send some Eves there...pretty long shot). A picture of it is below.

Too far?..Yeah I know...but I bet that if you would have seen it there youd be miles away in a jiffy.

Caretaker: One thing that the company seems to import seemingly easily is the Nepali caretakers and security personnel. A telugu speaking Nepali can form quite an attraction for the tourists. I wonder if the tourism department has thought about this before? Nevertheless, our caretaker was an interesting source of township gossip. So much to the extent that he used to look forward to our dinner time when he could pounce upon us with some new gossip. And if he was high on a glass of beer (seriously...that was what it took) we could get a little too much of the gossip than we had bargained for. Nevertheless, he had an impressive resume ...over 12 years of work ex, most of it as a security guard (one of them in a brewery company) and some of it as a cook at Pizza hut!

Speaking of Pizza's, my dinners waiting for me...I need to munch on some mutton. Will be back with some more!!

Reflections on the first half of 2008

Its July and I thought I should reflect back into the year gone by, on my accomplishments (few and far between), the non-accomplishments (dont need to think too much on that), the interesting and the not-so interesting stuff that has happened. 6 1/2 months have gone by and I find that I stand in the same position as I was then, only half a year older (and hopefully, saner)

Among the dull things that keep happening in my life its worth mentioning 5 in all that may have the tendency to shape my life in the future. Future - because I dont see them having any impact on me till now. So here they are:

1. My promotion: Yess!! I got promoted this year :) The elation however stopped, when I realised that I will have to do twice the work in half the time for a quarter of an increase pay and a five fold increase in tension. The math doesn't add up, does it? And all that when you consider just a "Senior" being tagged in front of my designation. 5 months into the role now and you can see how it has affected you - a lot less postings than before. And how it will impact the future? - my balding head will answer to that.

2. Passing my CIA Examinations: I had given it in 2007 but the results came in 2008. So I guess, it qualifies as a point here. I am still not sure how this will impact me in the future. But it has an interesting touch of humour to it, one which I use well to my advantage. People (not from my fraternity of auditors) look at me with reverance when I tell them that I am a CIA - they think that I have a fancy job with the Central Intelligence Agency of the US of A. To add some spice, I tell them I am on a secret mission and not to contact me for a couple of months - Gives me some peaceful moments. Yes, I can now see how that will affect my future. By the way for all those dumb morons, CIA stands for Certified Internal Auditor. Ha-ha!

3. Completing 3 years of my work-ex: Looks impressive on my resume. 3 years of doing the same kind of work. I have not updated the latter 1.5 years in Naukri.com or Monster.com but I can imagine the number of calls I will get from all the HR consultants just to ask me - "How the hell did you manage to the same kind of boring work for all these three years!". I am still thinking of an answer to that - and thats how it will impact my future - I have to spend time ( a lot of time) in deciding what to answer to that. "Why am I doing the same work for three years!!?" Never really thought about it before

4. Failing my driving licence test: This one, I would like to forget easily. 8 has never been my lucky number and thats what cost me my two wheeler licence too. Why did the RTO select only 8 - couldnt they use any other number? perhaps a 7 or maybe a 1. Humph! The only crown in the cap (if you can call it that) was that I got my second four wheeler licence in the process. You can imagine how it will impact my life in the future...I still have to rely on the stupid Bangalore auto drivers to drop me off to work and my home.

5. Marriage proposals: I got informed of the first of the serious candidates in my Mom's opinion a few weeks back , one which I had to deftly fend off for the time being. I have a feeling this will turn out to be a regular affair now. I need to practice my skills of hiding behind curtains, underneath my bed, being out on weekends - anything that can avoid me in getting into a situation where I have to answer to any of it. So if you see me dangling from balcony or running out of my house like a freak, you can be rest assured that my Mom has come up with some more of her proposals.

This was just a mid year review. I will be back with the annual report by the year-end. If I dont, you know that one of the above 5 things has kept me busy.